Recently, the Insurgency has been recieving lots of emails from anti-immigration folk. The Insurgency refuses to be cowed by their poor grammar and largely convoluted insults. Not only that, but we have decided that a public humiliation of sorts is in order. Of course, we should just ignore the minutemen militia members who write us stupid emails, but we are far too childish to not retaliate in kind. For your amusement, observe one of our favorite latest exchanges. (There are Spanish passages, but we have translated portions.)
To: T-shirt insurgency
Dear Pendejo,
Yo creo cuando usted no sabe que decir hay que llamar una persona pendejo. ¿No es verdad? Pues el pendejo es ustedes por falto de pensar. Yo tengo muchos anos viviendo en países fuera de los estados unidos y el único derecho que un cuidando del cual querrá país latino tenia es el derecho de morir de hambre. Nosotros teníamos todo el derecho de hacer una llamada de atención cuando gente están entrando su país sin permiso alguno. No creo que Méjico, Colombia, Venezuela, Perú, Panamá estaría dejando que gente estaría pasando el frontera sin permiso. Por Dios ponga su nombre en su camisa por que el pendejo es en su reflejo.
Cansado,
From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Phil
Hola Phil, Oye, mejor escríbenos en ingles, porque el argumento suyo no se llega a entender así como esta escrito en español. No sé cuanto tiempo usted lleva en el extranjero, pero su español sigue de baja calidad. La Insurgencia estará feliz de seguir la conversación en un idioma que usted domine con mayor facilidad. Atentamente Insurgent Kyle
(Hi Phil, I think it would be better if you write us in English since your argument is difficult to understand in Spanish. I’m not sure how long you have “lived outside the United States" (presumably in Latin America), but your Spanish is still of low quality. The Insurgency is happy to continue the conversation in a language you dominate more easily.
2008/12/4
From: Phil
To: T-shirt insurgency
Que pena, no me digas que mi español esta tan mal. Yo creo que si me entendio suficiente de otra manera no me uviera respondido. El argumento aqui es que usted llama a cual quier persona que se oponga al derecho de tener una opinion diferente de la suya, y usted lo llama "Pendejo"la mayoria de los paises tienen control de sus fronteras, por que nosotros no podemos tener ese derecho. Para combatir las drogas,terrorismo etc, hay que tener las fronteras vigiladas,eso es lo que Colombia ha hecho con la frontera con Venezuela,para no permitir los revolucionarios comunistas sigan apoyando a la FARC. Eso es uno de los ejemplos el por que es importante vigilar las fromteras, es un dercho como pais que tenemos, usted debe entenderlo verdad?
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2008 13:35:01 -0500
From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Phil
Ughh... Ok Phil. Despite the spelling and grammatical errors that number in the teens, I will take a moment to look at your "argument".
So, first you say "El argumento aqui es que usted llama a cual quier persona que se oponga al derecho de tener una opinion diferente de la suya, y usted lo llama "Pendejo"" (btw cualquier is one word)
We didn't call everyone who has an opinion different than ours a pendejo. We called one person--Lou Dobbs--a pendejo. So you lose that argument.
"la mayoria de los paises tienen control de sus fronteras, por que nosotros no podemos tener ese derecho."
I defy you to show me where we said that we should not attempt to "control our borders" (whatever that means). We didn't, so you lose that round as well.
"Para combatir las drogas,terrorismo etc, hay que tener las fronteras vigiladas,eso es lo que Colombia ha hecho con la frontera con Venezuela,para no permitir los revolucionarios comunistas sigan apoyando a la FARC."
This "sentence", if it can really be called that, is all over the place. I really can't tell what you are saying too much, so I'll just say that I'd like some examples of "terrorists" who have illegally come into the country through Mexico. All the 9-11 hijackers entered this country legally.The Colombia/Venezuela discussion is a whole different discussion. You kinda just seem like a college student who has studied abroad in Latin America and are really eager to prove you know some small political details about the region.The Insurgency is bemused.
"Eso es uno de los ejemplos el por que es importante vigilar las fromteras, es un dercho como pais que tenemos, usted debe entenderlo verdad?"
I'm not sure where you think this "right" to a secure border comes from, but when this "right" comes at the expense of the suffering of others, the question complicates itself. There is also the Universal Declaration of Human Rights . Check out number 13, for example.
Our beef with Lou Dobbs isn't that he would like to see immigration reform of some sort, we all would. Our beef with him is that he too often projects his malcontent onto the immigrants themselves who are just looking for a better life like all of the rest of us. His angry rants do nothing but rally hostile feelings against the most vulnerable population in the country. Usted debe entenderlo. ¿Verdad?
Ok, no more semi-unintelligible emails, please.
Thanks.
On Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 7:37 PM
From: Phil
To: T-shirt insurgency
You really are full of yourself.
First I had my second conversation proof read by a spanish speaker so you have insulted that person. Round one you lose.
Second: The world is full of people who would like to come to the US and just because Mexico is on the border does not mean they should skip the legal process. Second Round you lose. (Ok, I have to say that this is my favorite sentence of the entire exchange. He outright says "I say they should do X, so they should do X, ergo, you lose the argument... Beautiful.)
Third:
Drugs and violence are coming from Mexico and should not be allowed to enter into our country. Mexico has had a long history of bad and corrupt governments that have allowed the mexican people to be held down and for the most part kept poor. This is not a American problem this is a Mexican problem that needs to be addressed in Mexico and not here. If Texas and California were still part of Mexico the illegal's would be just entering further north of the present border. Its the type of government that does not allow for the progress of the Mexican people. Mexico leads the world in the number of millionaires because its a rich and poor country with hardly any middle class. I think that the border needs to be fenced and guarded so that if a person in Mexico wants to immigrate to the US he needs to go through the same challenges that a person in India or Colombia needs to do no short cuts. Is this too hard for you to understand? Every country in the world protects its border or it will eventually cease to be a country. I absolutely love Colombia and lived there for many years and have a great respect for it's heritage and customs and language. I would never force or even expect Colombia to change because I felt uncomfortable with it's laws and regulations. I would respect it's ways without question or leave. Unfortunately the people running over the border do not respect my country and it's laws or even it's customs and language. This is the root of the problem just because life here is still good and hopefully will continue and even that may change in the future, does not give a person in another country the right to violate it's laws and statutes. Third Round you lose.
(Again, a beautiful "paragraph".)
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 09:18:12 -0500
From: T-Shirt Insurgency
Subject: Re: Pendejo
The Spanish speaker did a poor job proofreading. That isn't an insult, just a fact.
Just because something is the law doesn't make it correct. (See segregation, for example)
Third: Your weltanshauung is far too simple for the Insurgency to interact with further. It's like debating a little kid. No fun. Even your English is poor. Go away, please.
Have a nice day.
On Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 9:24 AM,
From: Phil
To: T-Shirt insurgency
The problem is you have been out debated. Again when you can't win an augument you insult or call names very typical. You are a communist and nothing I say will make sense to someone with a socialist communist bent like yourself.
From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Phil
Learn to use commas and spellcheck, Phil. Now I know why you have such difficulty communicating in Spanish, it's because you can't express yourself well in English either. Let's have a comma lesson. Your second sentence "Again when you can't win an augument you insult or call names very typical" is ill structured. The sentence should read as follows:
Again, when you can't win an argument, you insult (missing object) or call (missing object) names--very typical.
What is a "socialist communist"?
PS: Did you send that last email all by yourself like a big boy, or did you have someone proofread it for you again?
Keep 'em coming, you have no idea how many laughs my friends and I are getting out of your emails. Socialist communist... hahahaa.. More of those, please.
And that is basically our message to all of you hate-mailers--Keep them coming. Your hate mail provides us with wonderful anecdotes to recount at the bar.
That's all for now, we'll keep you updated.