The White House X-mas party was held last night and naturally, the Insurgency's intelligence operation had someone on the inside.  We're told that the lamb tasted suspiciously like pork.  We can only assume this was a right-wing Christian ploy to entice the semitic peoples in attendance to break their dietary rules and force them into denigrating their traditions.  We're also told that Wolf Blitzer drank an inappropriate amount of egg nog, his beard growing yellower and yellower around the mouth as the evening went on.  

Sadly, that's all we can share for now.