The High Fructose Corn Syrup debate has gained alot of traction since we released this shirt.  The corn lobby is even showing a bunch of commercials telling us, "Come on guys, chill the fuck out!  And don't stop eating.  Please god don't stop eating."  But the sphere of blogs has answered with a resounding "nah".  Some young upstart blogger named Andrew Sullivan is even getting in on the act. 

Blizz Blau:  http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/09/big-corn.ht...

Also, check out Ezra Klein of the American Prospect's post for a good breakdown of the greater issue.  Not that we have a stance either way of course, we just think the whole thing's funny.   

Thanks to all the people who came by and our booth on Sunday.   Well, mostly thanks to the Mad Turk for bringing Vitamin Waters (how did you know that Revive is the official Vitamin Water of the Insurgency?) and ice.   That was the only thing that got us through the final two hours of incessant and awful drums.  Seriously, whoever is in charge of the drum stage needs to chill out a little bit, or at least change it up a bit.  Stop killin' the vibe, man!

Also, props go to the people that were making Crepes down by the big stage.   Any way you guys can bring more Nutella to the people is much appreciated. 

Next stop for the T-Shirt Insurgency is going to be Columbia Heights Day on October 4th.  Come check it out; here's the sitio:   http://www.columbiaheightsday.org/

Huzzah and such - We just recieved word that the T-Shirt Insurgency has been accepted as a vendor for Adams Morgan Day on September 14th.  Nice work by the organizers waiting till 6 days before to let us know, but, as has been pointed out on numerous occasions, we are a fairly agile insurgency (Matt particularly loves plyometrics), and we'll be there, beaming as usual.

Anyone around the DC area should swing on by.  As we have to be up there absurdly early the morning after Second Saturday at the bookstore (Saturday night 4 - 7), we'll all be pretty hungover.  Anyone who feels compelled to bring us vitamin water or gyros is welcome to do so.  You could even get a free shirt out of it.   It'll probably be a Soybomb though.  Haha!

It's been a few months since we've come out with a new shirt, but our much anticipated "High Fructose Corn Syrup" shirt is now available for order.  So now all you Michael Pollan fans can take action and do something about the corn lobby's reign of terror.  Because those bastards can't stand it when people wear witty t-shirts.

You have a simple choice.  Do you support Fructose Fructose Ghali and his diabolical fattening schemes, or do you, like the T-Shirt Insurgency, support the children?  It's totally up to you.  

Back in February aught seven, I was in the fiction stacks at Capitol Hill Books, knee-deep in Dickens.  My co-worker Kyle and I had been shelving away for the better part of the day, talking about various matters, bookstore or otherwise.  We made our way through various topics:  the latest extreme bookclub book Battle Royale, the unshelvability of Maeve Binchy, bookstore owner Jim’s latest rantings (he hated the words “sweet” but loved “awesome” (“OMG” had yet to elbow its way onto the scene)).  

Edwin Drood in hand, I wondered, “Damn, man, we need some more tshirt ideas.  How about something odd, but dope?”

Kyle seemed to know just what we needed, “How about a shirt that just says ‘Wintry Mix’, and then it’ll have a wintry mix on it?”

“Hmm, I don’t get it. (thinking some more and picturing it)  It’s perfect.” 

“Alright, let’s do it.” 

A mere one year later, “Wintry Mix” is here, and it is undeniably odd and dope.                

For January, the T-Shirt Insurgency has officially gone Vegan/Vegetarian.  Justin is the only actual full-time vegetarian (hence the musculature?), but we’re joining him at least for this month, and possibly for all of ’08.   We’re not quite sure why we’re doing it.  I don’t think it was health, animal rights, or environmental concerns, though we’ve heard that those are really good reasons.   

To mark this occasion, we’re lowering the price of our Soybomb t-shirt to $12.99 as well.  We'll also give updates of any amusing vegan related developments.  So far, all that's happened is I've eaten alot of hummus and Oreos.   (Yep, Oreos are vegan... best not to think about it.)

And even though we’re all Vegetarian now, our “Bonus Ham” offer still stands.   Shockingly, we are still the only Insurrectionist T-Shirt site to offer this.  Just order all 11 shirts and receive a free ham, simple as that.  

One of the most common comments we receive while selling our wares (aside from “Just who do you think you are?”  and “You don’t look so good”) is “I don’t get it.”  This usually occurs after someone takes a gander at our These Pancakes Don’t Run t-shirt.   Well, let me explain. 

Anyone lucky enough to spend significant time in rural America has probably had the pleasure of running across a “These Colors Don’t Run” bumper sticker, probably on a dusty pick-up truck.  Way back in aught six, this phenomenon was a topic of conversation at one of our Insurgency meetings. 

While waxing the wax of the waxer one night, we were considering whether "These Colors Don’t Run" was actually a sound and effective foreign policy posture to assume.  Justin claimed that there might be occasions when these colors should at least shuffle off to the side or step back and assess the situation.  He was quickly voted down though as we explained to him that the only possible policy for a country as great as the United States was to never, ever run.  Justin quickly acquiesced after we reminded him how amazing and purely good the U.S. is, and we decided to honor America and its greatness in T-Shirt/Flapjack form.

Plus, it's a stack of pancakes with a musket.   That's just awesome.

Thus our Insurrectionist Breakfast line was launched. 

We're adding a new feature here at the T-Shirt Insurgency Blog.   We've noticed that some people, from time to time, have trouble understanding all of our shirts.   This is completely understandable, as some of them are meant to be simply absurd, and can be quite difficult to explain.  

To remedy this, Insurgents and their friends are going to get feedback on which shirts are good and bad from the only source we can all trust, moms.

First up is Battlecat, a longtime supporter of the Insurgency. The transcript follows, told in the first person:

Mom: I looked at aaron's tshirt website today.
Me: What'd you think?
Mom: It's okay.
Me: Yeah? You like the shirts?
Mom:Yeah.
Me: Gonna buy some for christmas?
Mom: Yeah.
Me: Really?
Mom: Oh, i dont know. I was just saying that.
Me: What shirt do you like the best?
Mom: "Best War Ever"?
Me: Yeah! Cause like... it is.
Mom: Yeah that's pretty funny. *small giggle*  But i dont think people in central Wisconsin would buy it for the irony.
Me: What about the other ones? You like "Gay on Tuesdays"?
Mom: I don't get it.
Me: (to Aaron): she doesn't get it.
Mom: I like the About Us page, that's pretty good.
Me: It's all true too. Kyle did play one-on-one with Sprewell.
Mom: Wow.
Me: Do you know what that means?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok.
Mom: But it was pretty funny.
Me: You should read the blog.
Mom: Yours?
Me: No, theirs.
Mom: Aunt April reads your blog every day.
Me: I know, she told me.
Mom: You should call her. What was that other shirt I like?
Me: "Some Blood for Oil"?
Mom: Yes! *laughs loudly* That's funny. They should do a shirt about that mountain where all the nuclear waste is being stored.
Me: Yucca?
Mom: Yes. That's major news, they talked about it a lot in the debate tonight.
Me: That's because it's in Nevada and so was the debate.
Mom: Oh.
Me: Yeah...
Mom: Well I'm glad I'm not from Nevada.
Me: You like "Melancholy Ninja"?
Mom: I don't get it.
Me: He's all sad and stuff.
Mom: I must not be the demographic.
Me: There is no demographic! Fuck the system!
Mom: Yeah! Fuck the system!
Me: How about this.. "Everybody Loves Shay-man," with a Shaman holding a human heart in the air and people behind him like, applauding and shit.
Mom: Mmhmmm.
Me: Mom?
Mom: Yeah?
Me: Everybody loves shaman?
Mom: What's a shaman?
Me: You know.. a spritual being, a guide to the gods?
Mom: Oh, my college educated daughter, you are so smart.
Me: uh. ok. You like your mom hates freedom?
Mom: hahahahahahaha. yes. Remember when I tried telling you a your mom joke?
Me: yeah and you called yourself so fat that you sit AROUND the house. You dumbass.
Mom: haha. yeah.
Me: How about a shirt where an egg, a piece of toast, and a piece of bacon are all wielding weapons and beating up Texas, and the text says "Dont Mess with Breakfast"?
Mom: *loud laughter* i like that. *giggle* don't mess with breakfast. haha. texas sucks, man. remember when i lived there? oh no you dont, you werent born yet.
Me: Miss the hoochie days, do ya?
Mom: Yep.
Me: Did you hear what I just said?
Mom: No.
Me: Dont you pay attention to me?
Mom: I must have ADD. Both of my kids do.
Me: What?
Mom: did you hear what I just said?
Me: No.
Mom: *sigh*
Me: Ooh, what about these two dragons who are looking at each other and one says "wanna get a boca burger?"
Mom: Is that those vegetarian burgers?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: I don't get it.
Me: Ok. Umm.. what about a muffin eating another muffin, and the text says "live and let die."?
Mom: *loud laughter* haha. a muffin eating a muffin.
Me: what about a shirt that just has a picture of an angry orange?
Mom: it could say "orange you mad?!"
Me (to aaron): orange you mad? (aaron shakes his head) (to mom): No.
Mom: Oh.
Me: Orange... julius? Oranges killed the jews?!
Aaron: NO.
Me: Fine.
Mom: What's his deal?
Me: Angry orange.
Mom: Ah. Well, your dad just pulled in.
Me: That's cool.
Mom: If you say so. Ok, I'm gonna go lay down so he doesn't talk to me.
Me: Ok. Love you momma.
Mom: Love you too. Bye.

Starting today and running through the end of the year, the T-Shirt Insurgency will be offering free shipping on any purchases of two t-shirts or more.   So you can now by a “Your Mom Hates Freedom” t-shirt for your sister, and a “Gay on Tuesdays” shirt for your rather flamboyant roommate, and get them shipped to you for free. 

This offer applies to our Standard Domestic Shipping which takes about 5-10 business days once it’s in the mail. 

Also, keep checking the T-Shirt Insurgency blog, as we will be posting a rather amusing new design in the coming days.       

There has been much debate and speculation concerning the beginnings of “Melancholy Ninja” and the tshirt that he spawned.   The story goes like this.  

The four T-shirt Insurgents and some of their closest friends were spending a weekend at a cabin in the Shenandoah Valley.  After a long day of fishing, fighting off bears, playing beer soccer, enduring cattle raids, and making much merry, Matt decided to try to liven up the night in typical Matt fashion.

After downing a glass of Evan Williams and donning a ski mask, Matt started running around waving a bunch of sharp knives.  We rolled our eyes and ignored him.   He became sad.  Most people would see this and think “pathetic”.  Justin saw it and made it “art”. 

This is the Insurgency’s newest product.   And even after we come out with new shirts, this will remain the newest.  

"Your Mom Hates Freedom" gets here tomorrow.  We're pretty hype about this one, mostly because we've always wanted a Your Mom t shirt, and this one still keeps the spirit of the Insurgency. 

Our latest addition comes in both Men's and Women's in the American Apparel Fine Jersey - Navy color.

We'll be out in front of Capitol Hill Books all weekend so DC folks should stop by Eastern Market, buy some used books, and pick up some dope tshirts.

Patriot flapjack update:

 "These Pancakes Don't Run" is now available in both a 2001 Fine Jersey Light Blue color, and for women, in the BB 301 Poly-Cotton Orchid colored shirt.   Must say, they both look pretty good.   Here are some mark-ups.  We'll be getting better looking mark-ups and some photos up soon.

For those of you hankering for more from our "Insurrectionist Breakfast" line, we're actively working on our next design.  Legally, all we can tell you is that it's "super dope" and "possibly green." 

In these politically polarized times, it is often difficult to decide what is the right position to take on an issue.  

Pick one up today and let the healing begin. 

Also, not really. 

When you purchase our shirts, our shirts become your other supposed to know.  You may then begin the process of belief transference onto this other -- a staggeringly comfortable, non sweatshop t-shirt.  Let us understand the signs for you.  Let us stare down the master signifier and expose its mysteries to you in t-shirt form. 

Maybe you have a friend with an odd sense of humor.  Or a boyfriend who is in danger of becoming a cog or a trained seal.  Our shirts will make your friend laugh and whisper explosions into your boyfriend's drowsy melon. 

Our t-shirts are here to serve.  They are also here to fight.  Whether you are still deeply distressed by the meatpacking industry of the 1890s or some other contemporary danger to freedom, we are with you -- all the way, no matter what it is.

The battle is not up on the podium or in artillery volleys.  The battle has gone underground.  Join the armies of subversion as they rearrange the borders of Absurdistan. 

Here is our weaponized batch, enjoy.  

For those of you who are new to the T-Shirt Insurgency, check our blog often to get updates on what's happening with the Insurgency.   We will touch upon the goings on in the t-shirt world and other worlds yet unclassified.  From bold, historically informed takes on current events like the recent American Apparel model liberation, to meaningless pseudo-intellectual retellings of historical events, the Insurgency blog will keep your finger on the pulse of our cultural moment like nothing else.