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Another piece of poorly punctuated pro-Dobbs hate mail

Mon, 01/18/2010 - 23:14 — kburk

Anna writes:

I LOVE Lou Dobbs....his stand on ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION is right on.  Those opposing his view of ILLEGAL immigration usually have their own ideology - that is that ANYONE who has a problem should show up in America to have their problem solved by tax-paying Americans.  How nice for native-born Americans in the midst of a recession....seeing their jobs going overseas, struggling with health-care costs.....having the burden of providing social services, medical care through the emergency rooms of hospital (making our healthcare go up even more), providing interpreters...for millions of people here ILLEGALLY....not to even speak of the high cost of educating the children of these millions.  I strongly suggest those who support the "rights" of these illegals - adopt a couple of families.....have them move in with you, share your household, your food, pay for their healthcare, pay for the education of their childred....OUT OF YOUR FAMILY BUDGET!!!  We'll see how long your hold on to your "head above the clouds" view........you would then have a right to bash those like Lou Dobbs.....once you, yourself, have the financial burden of caring for these uninvited guests. 
 
Get real.....remember we are talking ILLEGAL!!!

 

OK. We realize that it is an utter waste of time to dispute Anna's "arguments", but we will analyze them, nevertheless.

Anna's main argument appears to be that "Those opposing his view of ILLEGAL immigration usually have their own ideology - that is that ANYONE who has a problem should show up in America to have their problem solved by tax-paying Americans." We will ignore her misuse of the term "ideology" in order to focus on the topic at hand--immigrants and immigration. Had Anna bothered to read our previous lesson on the straw man argument, she may have decided against sending her angry, spastically unfocused email our way. I challenge anyone to show us where we have argued that "anyone who has a problem should show up in America to have their problem solved by tax-paying Americans." Since we have not argued that point, that argument against us is simply sensationalist (not unlike Lou himself), absurd, and invalid.

And then, of course, we have the standard "He's only against illegal immigration" line. Good god. Please, people. I will say this one more time. We do not, have not, and will not question whether or not those who come here without proper documentation are committing crimes. We are questioning the validity of the current laws themselves. The fact that something is a law is not, in itself, any indication that that law is fair or just. For those who have difficulty with subtlety, I will use this easy to understand example again. Segregation was once law. Segregation was not fair or just. Laws can potentially be unfair or unjust. Follow me?

We are encouraging people to think about how fair it is that individuals find themselves in a global economic system that compels them to sell their labor on a transnational market in order to survive, but then punishes them for actually becoming transnational laborers. Also, because undocumented workers in this country are afforded the protection of very few rights and are therefore vulnerable, we are saying that it is very poor form to constantly blame the social antagonisms produced by that global economic system on the individuals who find themselves caught up in it. One could say that a guy who makes his money and fame on berating people with little resources or rights, those who are economically compelled to sell their labor in the United States for survival, is kind of an asshole. So, that's what we are saying.

Again:  Social problems are not the result of poor people from other countries immigrating to richer nations. Social antagonisms are the result of systemic problems in the fields of politics and the economy. Yes, it is much easier to just blame the scapegoat of your choosing for all the problems in society, be that liberals, conservatives, immigrants, muslims, jews, whatever... But it is also intellectually lazy, and only serves to buttress the current injustices in the systems that have actually produced these problems. People who foster this sort of intellectual laziness are pendejos.

Insurgency Goes to Peru

Wed, 11/18/2009 - 15:49 — abeckwith

While we haven't been updating this here blog recently, don't worry   TSI is still in full swing.  Other job engagements have kept us from updating the blog recently, but rest assured, we're still handling any and all orders and inquiries.

Meanwhile, if you need your Kyle or Justin fix, like we all do, check out their travel blog while they're down in Peru - http://hablavasperu.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

For Real?

Wed, 01/28/2009 - 17:22 — abeckwith

Here's an amusing and scary post from "The Vine" - TNR's environmental and energy blog - which cites a study saying that not only does High Fructose Corn Syrup invade children's bedrooms at night, but also contains mercury.  Not only that, but the FDA knew this and didn't do anything about it.  So it goes.  

http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/environmentandenergy/archive/2009/01/28/a...

It's best not to think about things like this, so I'm going to distract you with THIS CRAZY PAIR OF SHOES!

  

Wha???

 

 

Capitol Hill Books Inaugural Gala this Saturday

Tue, 01/13/2009 - 20:31 — abeckwith

For any folks heading into DC this weekend for Inaugural festivities, swing by Capitol Hill Books on Saturday from 5 - 8 for our Inaugural Gala.   Kyle and I are currently debating the effervescence of various beverage options, but at the least we'll have beer and wine and 10% off all books on Presidents.  

Afterwards, we might go see Gordon at Banana Cafe or just hit up 18th Amendment.   Black tie optional.

 

 

Welcome to Obama's America

Tue, 01/13/2009 - 16:35 — abeckwith

I like to think there's alot of people like me out there who for a long time though to themselves "I wish this beer I was drinking tasted alot more like Nerds."  Well, everything stopped sucking once Sparks came onto the market, and for the last decade or so, everyone's been happy.   

Looks like everything's going to suck again, cause MillerCoors is discontinuing Sparks.  I think we all died a little today, but mostly it was children who died.   Thanks, Obama.  

 

  

Pendejos Aplenty... Episode 4

Mon, 01/12/2009 - 16:48 — kburk

It truly is amazing how people we don't know feel compelled to email us and tell us we are wrong about stuff, especially given that we are just a satirical t-shirt company. 

Here's our latest episode.  

On Fri, Jan 9, 2009 at 7:43 PM, Mike wrote:

Y'all are missing the point about illegal immigration. Let me start by saying that I am NOT against Hispanics. I have a great admiration for the Hispanic culture. I served with Hispanics in the Army and was stationed in Panama for a while. My heritage is Irish... but I would not condone 2 million Irish here illegally.  Illegal immigration is a security issue. Especially now, with the Mexican drug cartels expanding their violence, we do not want that in the U.S. Amnesty would encourage more illegal immigration... where does it stop? The U.S. is struggling economically and does not need the additional strain on our social services accomodating illegals. I know many reasons to prevent illegal immigration. How many GOOD reasons do you have to promote it? The U.S. is a nation of immigrants... but let people come here legally and do it right. Do y'all believe that we should reward people for breaking our laws? That's exactly what amnesty would do. Lou Dobbs is not a pendejo. Mr. Dobbs has reported on our government's lack of progress on securing our ports and borders from potential terrorists. The fact that we have some 10-20 million illegal Mexicans in this country is a testimony to that.
 
Mike  

 

From: Tshirtinsurgency 

To: Mike

Mike,
 
Congratulations on your admiration for the Hispanic culture. I am thoroughly convinced that you are not racist.  Moving on...
 
Ok, so you believe the point we are missing is that illegal immigration is a security issue. What about our position--that Lou Dobbs is a Pendejo--indicates that we do not understand the importance of keeping violent drug cartels from entering the country?  You didn't say, and that is strange. Presumably, if you feel confident enough to write people you don't know and tell them that they are wrong about something, you would explain why they are wrong in specific terms and examples.
 
And then, there's this:
 
"Amnesty would encourage more illegal immigration... where does it stop? The U.S. is struggling economically and does not need the additional strain on our social services accomodating illegals. I know many reasons to prevent illegal immigration. How many GOOD reasons do you have to promote it?" 
 
This is an example of the logical fallacy known as the Straw Man; we have never once called for amnesty or promoted illegal immigration, but you falsely attributed those positions to us because it is easier to argue against fake positions which seem to bolster your "argument". 
 
Our positions have been clearly stated on the website, so I won't restate them in this email. If you have an issue with one of our actual positions, and not one you just made up, then, by all means, act on your compulsion to let us know about your disagreement. 
 
Hasta entonces,
 
Insurgent Kyle 
 
PS: What and who are "potential terrorists"?  Am I? Are you?

 
                        

Pendejos Aplenty...Round 3!

Wed, 12/24/2008 - 14:52 — kburk

Here's the latest. Debbie wants us to clarify our position on illegal immigration in simple terms (which we already did in the last excerpt of Pendejos Aplenty, but apparently that wasn't simple enough).  She also objects to us promoting our t-shirt business.......on our t-shirt business website.

 

On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 10:19 AM, Debbie wrote:

Other than your shameless promotion of your flayling t-shirt bussiness, what is your real stand on ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION?
Are you for it?

From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Debbie Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2008 2:18:02 PM
Subject: Re: POLITICO

 

That's a loaded question which implies the logical fallacy known as "false choice", thereby rendering it illegitimate.  It is also unbelievably reductionist. (As if immigration exists in some quasi-ahistorical vacuum.)  You also call our business "flayling" which is, of course, a presumption not based on fact. Also, "flayling" is spelled flailing, and "bussiness" is spelled business. Amazing how you could get so many things wrong in a two sentence email.

Thanks for playing, though. 
 
Have a nice day.

On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 7:34 PM, Debbie wrote:

Esta es la respuesta que esperaba de un pendejo como tu.
Parece que hay muchos parecido a ti, desgraciado, en este pais.

(This is the response I expected from a pendejo like you. It seems that there are many disgraceful people like you in this country.)

From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: DebbieSent: Tuesday, December 24, 2008
Subject: Re: POLITICO

Debbie, I'm sorry we couldn't provide you with a cute little soundbite answer like Lou would have. If you want simple, inadequate answers to complicated questions, by all means, keep getting your answers from simple people. The Insurgency, I'm afraid, is not in the habit of reducing complicated political problems down to a second grade reading level just so we can gain some sort of popular support.
 
I'm really sorry we insulted your tv news hero, but he is an asno if ever there was one.
 
Merry Christmas

One more Pendejo

Thu, 12/18/2008 - 14:45 — kburk

One more excerpt from our new feature-- Pendejos Aplenty!

Another reactionary takes issue with our Lou Dobbs shirt!  

On Wed, Dec 17, 2008 at 7:20 PM, Robert wrote:

Moron or Idiot (your choice), Get it right asswipe, he's against ILLEGAL immigration. What part of that do you not understand??? He believes, as I do, in the rule of law, as you apparently don't. Throw out ALL illegal's and end the birthright policy.
Deport 'em all.

From: T-Shirt Insurgency <
Date: Thu, Dec 18, 2008 at 9:31 AM
Subject: Re: Lou Dobbs
To: Robert

 

1. Once again, it is incredible how (presumably) native English speakers like yourself apparently do not know how to use correct punctuation in the sentences they write.  It seems a particular problem amongst possible minutemen militia members like yourself.
 
2. We do not question whether or not there are certain laws that people immigrating to the United States are required to follow. We do not question the fact that those who do not follow them are guilty of crimes. We are questioning how just those laws are in the first place. I think you'll find, if you look through history, that some laws were not so just.  This may be another such law. We are suggesting that the current structure of global capitalism coerces workers to move where the work is to survive, while at the same time punishing them legally for doing so.  We are saying that the current system unfairly punishes workers, and that the system should be changed so as to not unfairly punish them.  
 
3. We never said Lou Dobbs was against legal immigration. We know he says he's against illegal immigration. I'm not sure how you got so confused so as to decide you should call us asswipes for saying something we didn't say. Maybe you should read more carefully to avoid such confusion in the future. Our beef with Dobbs, asswipe, is that he too often uses his prominence not to fight for a more fair immigration policy, but instead uses his pulpit to rail against individual immigrants rather than the power structure that produces them.  
To quote you, Robert, "What part of that do you not understand?". 
 
 
Sincerely,
 
Insurgent Kyle

 

Philly and Boston Pictures

Tue, 12/16/2008 - 15:45 — abeckwith

It's a little late in coming, but we got some photos from the Philly/Boston trip.  

We fully enmeshed ourself in the hipster milieu in Philly.   They even had free pabst!  It's true - look how shocked I am to be festooned with Pabst:
         

The photo on the right was our neighbor in Philly, who was cool and sells Cupcake Monsters. 

One of the other major highlights was us both for the first time hearing the weird "Snow/Heat Miser" song.  It's completely ridiculous.  This is the Heat Miser.

  

Anyway, the Philly show had some cool bands, a bunch of cool vendors, and Matt had what he says is his favorite breakfast sandwich of all time at the Arbol Cafe.   A Wintry Mix rolled into town and we were off to Boston though.

The Boston Bazaar Bizarre was a damn cool event in the Castle at Park Plaza.  Like all big craft events, there was a theraman, who was pretty cool the first time, but then almost drove us insane after awhile.  You can only take so many theraman christmas carols.  

         

Anyway, it was packed the whole time, and we managed to sell a fair number of shirts and have some great interactions with the vendors and customers.  We were dead tired by the end, and headed out of town to the first Applebees we could find.  Thankfully enough Pink and Rihanna (but not enough Nickelback for Matt's liking) came on the radio on the drive home to keep us awake.  

    

Pendejos Aplenty

Mon, 12/15/2008 - 16:06 — kburk
Recently, the Insurgency has been recieving lots of emails from anti-immigration folk.  The Insurgency refuses to be cowed by their poor grammar and largely convoluted insults.  Not only that, but we have decided that a public humiliation of sorts is in order.  Of course, we should just ignore the minutemen militia members who write us stupid emails, but we are far too childish to not retaliate in kind.  For your amusement, observe one of our favorite latest exchanges.  (There are Spanish passages, but we have translated portions.)
 
2008/12/3
From: Phil
 To: T-shirt insurgency
 
Dear Pendejo,
 Yo creo cuando usted no sabe que decir hay que llamar una persona pendejo. ¿No es verdad? Pues el pendejo es ustedes por falto de pensar. Yo tengo muchos anos viviendo en países fuera de los estados unidos y el único derecho que un cuidando del cual querrá país latino tenia es el derecho de morir de hambre. Nosotros teníamos todo el derecho de hacer una llamada de atención cuando gente están entrando su país sin permiso alguno. No creo que Méjico, Colombia, Venezuela, Perú, Panamá estaría dejando que gente estaría pasando el frontera sin permiso. Por Dios ponga su nombre en su camisa por que el pendejo es en su reflejo.
 
Cansado,
From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Phil
Hola Phil,  Oye, mejor escríbenos en ingles, porque el argumento suyo no se llega a entender así como esta escrito en español.  No sé cuanto tiempo usted lleva en el extranjero, pero su español sigue de baja calidad.  La Insurgencia estará feliz de seguir la conversación en un idioma que usted domine con mayor facilidad.  Atentamente  Insurgent Kyle    
 
translation
(Hi Phil, I think it would be better if you write us in English since your argument is difficult to understand in Spanish.  I’m not sure how long you have “lived outside the United States" (presumably in Latin America), but your Spanish is still of low quality.  The Insurgency is happy to continue the conversation in a language you dominate more easily.   
 
 
2008/12/4
From: Phil
To: T-shirt insurgency
 
Que pena, no me digas que mi español esta tan mal. Yo creo que si me entendio suficiente de otra manera no me uviera respondido. El argumento aqui es que usted llama a cual quier persona que se oponga al derecho de tener una opinion diferente de la suya, y usted lo llama "Pendejo"la mayoria de los paises tienen control de sus fronteras, por que nosotros no podemos tener ese derecho. Para combatir las drogas,terrorismo etc, hay que tener las fronteras vigiladas,eso es lo que Colombia ha hecho con la frontera con Venezuela,para no permitir los revolucionarios comunistas sigan apoyando a la FARC. Eso es uno de los ejemplos el por que es importante vigilar las fromteras, es un dercho como pais que tenemos, usted debe entenderlo verdad?

 Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2008 13:35:01 -0500

From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Phil
Ughh... Ok Phil.  Despite the spelling and grammatical errors that number in the teens, I will take a moment to look at your "argument".
 
So, first you say "El argumento aqui es que usted llama a cual quier persona que se oponga al derecho de tener una opinion diferente de la suya, y usted lo llama "Pendejo""  (btw cualquier is one word)
 
We didn't call everyone who has an opinion different than ours a pendejo. We called one person--Lou Dobbs--a pendejo.  So you lose that argument.
 
Round two:
 
"la mayoria de los paises tienen control de sus fronteras, por que nosotros no podemos tener ese derecho." 
 
I defy you to show me where we said that we should not attempt to "control our borders" (whatever that means).  We didn't, so you lose that round as well. 
 
Next:
"Para combatir las drogas,terrorismo etc, hay que tener las fronteras vigiladas,eso es lo que Colombia ha hecho con la frontera con Venezuela,para no permitir los revolucionarios comunistas sigan apoyando a la FARC."
 
This "sentence", if it can really be called that, is all over the place. I really can't tell what you are saying too much, so I'll just say that I'd like some examples of "terrorists" who have illegally come into the country through Mexico. All the 9-11 hijackers entered this country legally.The Colombia/Venezuela discussion is a whole different discussion. You kinda just seem like a college student who has studied abroad in Latin America and are really eager to prove you know some small political details about the region.The Insurgency is bemused.
 
Next:
"Eso es uno de los ejemplos el por que es importante vigilar las fromteras, es un dercho como pais que tenemos, usted debe entenderlo verdad?"
 
I'm not sure where you think this "right" to a secure border comes from, but when this "right" comes at the expense of the suffering of others, the question complicates itself.  There is also the Universal Declaration of Human Rights . Check out number 13, for example. 
 
Our beef with Lou Dobbs isn't that he would like to see immigration reform of some sort, we all would.  Our beef with him is that he too often projects his malcontent onto the immigrants themselves who are just looking for a better life like all of the rest of us. His angry rants do nothing but rally hostile feelings against the most vulnerable population in the country. Usted debe entenderlo. ¿Verdad? 
 
Ok, no more semi-unintelligible emails, please.
 
Thanks. 
On Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 7:37 PM
From: Phil
To: T-shirt insurgency
 
You really are full of yourself.
 
First I had my second conversation proof read by a spanish speaker so you have insulted that person. Round one you lose.
 
Second: The world is full of people who would like to come to the US and just because Mexico is on the border does not mean they should skip the legal process. Second Round you lose.  (Ok, I have to say that this is my favorite sentence of the entire exchange.  He outright says "I say they should do X, so they should do X, ergo, you lose the argument...  Beautiful.) 
Third:
Drugs and violence are coming from Mexico and should not be allowed to enter into our country. Mexico has had a long history of bad and corrupt governments that have allowed the mexican people to be held down and for the most part kept poor. This is not a American problem this is a Mexican problem that needs to be addressed in Mexico and not here. If Texas and California were still part of Mexico the illegal's would be just entering further north of the present border. Its the type of government that does not allow for the progress of the Mexican people. Mexico leads the world in the number of millionaires because its a rich and poor country with hardly any middle class. I think that the border needs to be fenced and guarded so that if a person in Mexico wants to immigrate to the US he needs to go through the same challenges that a person in India or Colombia needs to do no short cuts. Is this too hard for you to understand? Every country in the world protects its border or it will eventually cease to be a country. I absolutely love Colombia and lived there for many years and have a great respect for it's heritage and customs and language. I would never force or even expect Colombia to change because I felt uncomfortable with it's laws and regulations. I would respect it's ways without question or leave. Unfortunately the people running over the border do not respect my country and it's laws or even it's customs and language. This is the root of the problem just because life here is still good and hopefully will continue and even that may change in the future, does not give a person in another country the right to violate it's laws and statutes. Third Round you lose. 
(Again, a beautiful "paragraph".)
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 09:18:12 -0500

From: T-Shirt Insurgency
Subject: Re: Pendejo
The Spanish speaker did a poor job proofreading. That isn't an insult, just a fact.
 
Just because something is the law doesn't make it correct. (See segregation, for example)
 
Third: Your weltanshauung is far too simple for the Insurgency to interact with further. It's like debating a little kid. No fun. Even your English is poor. Go away, please.
Have a nice day.
On Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 9:24 AM,
From: Phil
To: T-Shirt insurgency
 
The problem is you have been out debated. Again when you can't win an augument you insult or call names very typical. You are a communist and nothing I say will make sense to someone with a  socialist communist bent like yourself.
From: T-Shirt Insurgency
To: Phil

Learn to use commas and spellcheck, Phil.  Now I know why you have such difficulty communicating in Spanish, it's because you can't express yourself well in English either.  Let's have a comma lesson.  Your second sentence "Again when you can't win an augument you insult or call names very typical" is ill structured. The sentence should read as follows: 
Again, when you can't win an argument, you insult (missing object) or call (missing object) names--very typical.    
 
What is a "socialist communist"?  
 
PS: Did you send that last email all by yourself like a big boy, or did you have someone proofread it for you again?  
 
Keep 'em coming, you have no idea how many laughs my friends and I are getting out of your emails.  Socialist communist... hahahaa..  More of those, please. 
 
 
              
And that is basically our message to all of you hate-mailers--Keep them coming.  Your hate mail provides us with wonderful anecdotes to recount at the bar. 
That's all for now, we'll keep you updated.

King Corn Dudes' response to those wackadoo corn commercials

Thu, 12/11/2008 - 16:54 — abeckwith

Our friends that made the documentary "King Corn" have a pretty good response to those crazy commercials that the Corn Refiners Association have been putting out for the past few months.  You can check it out here:

http://civileats.com/2008/12/10/sweet-surprise-corn-syrup-campaign-misse...

Let's not let the Big Corn's lobbying efforts stop us from viewing them as anything other than a monstrous ear of corn terrorizing our children in the middle of the night.   

Also, King Corn guys have a new movie out called the Greening of Southie, which sounds like it should be pretty dope.  Check 'er out. 

 

   

Boston Bazaar Bizarre

Wed, 12/03/2008 - 15:00 — abeckwith

Christmas wha???    Yeah, it seems weird, but Christmas season is here, and the Insurgency is branching out a little more and our first road trip is this weekend.  Matt and Aaron still haven't recovered from their Michigan Thanksgiving shenanigans, but they're gearing up for another road trip this weekend.  Hopefully this time, Matt doesn't get into a fight with any tall racist dudes.

We have a van rented and are ready to go, and we'll be in Philly for the Independent Craft Market at the 941 Theater on Saturday.  Here's their site:   http://www.myspace.com/randomsquirrellab

On Sunday we will be driving up to Boston for the Bazaar Bizarre.   We don't really know what's going on, but apparently the event is in a castle, so that can't be all bad.  If anyone's in the Boston area, swing by on Sunday.  Here's all the info for the event:   http://www.bazaarbizarre.org/boston.html

Kyle will still be selling shirts at Capitol Hill Books this weekend for everyone looking for Christmas Gifts.   If you see him give him a hug, Kyle doesn't like the cold.  

 

Palin Shirts Are In

Fri, 10/17/2008 - 16:28 — abeckwith

Kudos to our printer who got the Sarah Palin t-shirts out to us with mucho quickness.    They are in, and are available for order online.  We'll of course be at Capitol Hill Books (at Eastern Market) on Saturday, and we'll be at the Eastern Market Flea Market all day Sunday selling them. 

We also got the new Lou Dobbs shirt in, which I think Insurgent Kyle will be posting about at some point.    Buy them both - We're not rifle shots here!

 

              

 

And the Dobbs smackdown:

Columbia Heights Day this Saturday

Thu, 10/02/2008 - 14:30 — abeckwith

Insurgents Matt and Aaron will be at Columbia Heights Day this Saturday, October 4th.  It should mostly be pretty cool as there is a Taqueria vendor scheduled to be there.   Come swing by our table, which will be in Tent B.  

Here's some more info:

 

When: Saturday, October 4th, 2008 from 11am to 6pm

Where: Harriet Tubman Elementary School & 11th Street from Kenyon to Monroe St. NW, beginning with a pet parade and community bike ride starting at Tivoli Square at 9:30am. Music starts at 11am.

Activities: Morning yoga, Super Awesome Shirts from the T-Shirt Insurgency - those guys are dope, Arts Fair, Community Picnic, Live Music and Entertainment, Children’s activities, Seniors’ Pavilion, Health and Wellness booths, Petting Zoo and local cuisine.

Fructose Fructose Ghali on the Run

Tue, 09/16/2008 - 20:11 — abeckwith

The High Fructose Corn Syrup debate has gained alot of traction since we released this shirt.  The corn lobby is even showing a bunch of commercials telling us, "Come on guys, chill the fuck out!  And don't stop eating.  Please god don't stop eating."  But the sphere of blogs has answered with a resounding "nah".  Some young upstart blogger named Andrew Sullivan is even getting in on the act. 

Blizz Blau:  http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/09/big-corn.ht...

Also, check out Ezra Klein of the American Prospect's post for a good breakdown of the greater issue.  Not that we have a stance either way of course, we just think the whole thing's funny.   

 

Adams Morgan Day Didn't Suck!

Tue, 09/16/2008 - 19:58 — abeckwith

Thanks to all the people who came by and our booth on Sunday.   Well, mostly thanks to the Mad Turk for bringing Vitamin Waters (how did you know that Revive is the official Vitamin Water of the Insurgency?) and ice.   That was the only thing that got us through the final two hours of incessant and awful drums.  Seriously, whoever is in charge of the drum stage needs to chill out a little bit, or at least change it up a bit.  Stop killin' the vibe, man!

Also, props go to the people that were making Crepes down by the big stage.   Any way you guys can bring more Nutella to the people is much appreciated. 

Next stop for the T-Shirt Insurgency is going to be Columbia Heights Day on October 4th.  Come check it out; here's the sitio:   http://www.columbiaheightsday.org/

 

Adams Morgan Day

Tue, 09/09/2008 - 20:46 — abeckwith

Huzzah and such - We just recieved word that the T-Shirt Insurgency has been accepted as a vendor for Adams Morgan Day on September 14th.  Nice work by the organizers waiting till 6 days before to let us know, but, as has been pointed out on numerous occasions, we are a fairly agile insurgency (Matt particularly loves plyometrics), and we'll be there, beaming as usual.

Anyone around the DC area should swing on by.  As we have to be up there absurdly early the morning after Second Saturday at the bookstore (Saturday night 4 - 7), we'll all be pretty hungover.  Anyone who feels compelled to bring us vitamin water or gyros is welcome to do so.  You could even get a free shirt out of it.   It'll probably be a Soybomb though.  Haha!

 

 

 

Prince of Petworth hangs with the Insurgency

Fri, 08/22/2008 - 13:11 — kburk

Many of you D.C. residents may be familiar with the Prince of Petworth blog.  POP always has its finger on the palpitating pulse of the city, and so, naturally, POP sent out an intrepid young reporter to get an inside scoop on the Insurgency the other evening. Of course we really gave away nothing of ourselves because we are nothing, nothing but the blank screen upon which you all may project your own insurgent desires... 

SeeStory 

We wanna be your Robespierre!

Mon, 07/14/2008 - 18:01 — kburk

The Insurgency would like to wish all of you a Happy Bastille Day!  Just a little reminder that you aren't out there insurging by yourselves.  Pancakes is with you all the way.  And just maybe he'll storm the Bastille that surrounds your heart, and finally it'll be free to commence its own reign of terror! 

  

 

Insurgency takes a bite out of Coke sales

Wed, 05/28/2008 - 18:05 — kburk

The Wall Street Journal reports that Coke sales have plummetted in the first quarter of 2008.  This is widely rumored to have been caused, in part, by the release of our High Fructose Corn Syrup T. 

Join us as we continue to bring the battle to Fructose Fructose Ghali's henchmen. 

Corn Syrup Drops

Tue, 04/15/2008 - 18:09 — abeckwith

It's been a few months since we've come out with a new shirt, but our much anticipated "High Fructose Corn Syrup" shirt is now available for order.  So now all you Michael Pollan fans can take action and do something about the corn lobby's reign of terror.  Because those bastards can't stand it when people wear witty t-shirts.

You have a simple choice.  Do you support Fructose Fructose Ghali and his diabolical fattening schemes, or do you, like the T-Shirt Insurgency, support the children?  It's totally up to you.  

 

  

The insurgency wages a guerilla war on facebook

Wed, 03/19/2008 - 20:18 — dbravender

tshirtinsurgency.com now has a facebook application that lets you share your favorite tshirtinsurgency.com designs with your friends.

When viewing a shirt, you can see how many people selected it as their favorite:

Go have a look on facebook.com

Trivia Night at the Argonaut with the Insurgency

Thu, 02/21/2008 - 20:18 — kburk
Have you always wanted an Insurgency T-Shirt, but didn’t feel like you could justify shelling out the requisite dollars for a shirt that says “Gay on Tuesdays”? Well, we may have a solution for you.
 
T-Shirt Insurgency is helping sponsor a weekly trivia night at the Argonaut every Wednesday at 8pm. Prizes include gift certificates to the Argonaut, and to T-Shirt Insurgency. So if you’ve had your eye on a Pancakes shirt, maybe now’s the time to dust off your surprisingly thorough knowledge of grooming products in Elizabethan England and bring it to 15th and H street NE. 
 

Also, the Argonaut has Pabst in cans, ok, hipsters? 

A Hard Binchy's A-Gonna Fall

Fri, 02/01/2008 - 16:45 — abeckwith

Back in February aught seven, I was in the fiction stacks at Capitol Hill Books, knee-deep in Dickens.  My co-worker Kyle and I had been shelving away for the better part of the day, talking about various matters, bookstore or otherwise.  We made our way through various topics:  the latest extreme bookclub book Battle Royale, the unshelvability of Maeve Binchy, bookstore owner Jim’s latest rantings (he hated the words “sweet” but loved “awesome” (“OMG” had yet to elbow its way onto the scene)).  

Edwin Drood in hand, I wondered, “Damn, man, we need some more tshirt ideas.  How about something odd, but dope?”

Kyle seemed to know just what we needed, “How about a shirt that just says ‘Wintry Mix’, and then it’ll have a wintry mix on it?”

“Hmm, I don’t get it. (thinking some more and picturing it)  It’s perfect.” 

“Alright, let’s do it.” 

A mere one year later, “Wintry Mix” is here, and it is undeniably odd and dope.                

The Insurgency responds to Bush's State of the Union address

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 15:48 — kburk
THE PRESIDENT: Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members of Congress, fellow citizens:  
As a new Congress gathers, all of us in the elected branches of government share a great privilege: We've been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve. And tonight that is a privilege we share with newly-elected leaders of Afghanistan, the Palestinian Territories, Ukraine, and a free and sovereign Iraq. (Applause.)
 I wonder how “free and sovereign” we’d feel if there were 158,000 Iraqi troops in the U.S. right now stopping us at check points when we went to work every morning…
Two weeks ago, I stood on the steps of this Capitol and renewed the commitment of our nation to the guiding ideal of liberty for all. And one week ago you met with your good buddies in Saudi Arabia who act as a brutal junta in a place that hosts public beheadings. This evening I will set forth policies to advance that ideal at home and around the world. Ummm.. I doubt that.. But hey.. give it a shot.
Tonight, with a healthy, growing economy, Wait…Stop! You’re reading the State of the Union speech from 1996! Quick..Someone get the ’08 speech! with more Americans going back to work, (presumably because their retirement packages aren’t what they thought they’d be…)with our nation an active force for good in the world This sentence makes more sense when you realize that by “good” he means “destruction”-- the state of our union is confident and strong. (Applause.)  You’re in pretty thin company with that opinion, sir.
Our generation has been blessed -- by the expansion of opportunity, by advances in medicine, by the security purchased by our parents' sacrifice. Now, as we see a little gray in the mirror -- or a lot of gray -- (laughter) -- and we watch our children moving into adulthood, we ask the question: What will be the state of their union? Members of Congress, the choices we make together will answer that question. Over the next several months, on issue after issue, let us do what Americans have always done, and build a better world for our children and our grandchildren. (Applause.) 
Boooo!!!!! Better world for our children and grandchildren??!! Boooo!!!!
 
First, we must be good stewards of this economy, and renew the great institutions on which millions of our fellow citizens rely. America's economy is the fastest growing of any major industrialized nation. In the past four years, we provided tax relief to every person who pays income taxes, overcome a recession, (jesus..now he’s reading the 2010 speech) opened up new markets abroad, prosecuted corporate criminals, raised homeownership to its highest level in history, Wonder how we did that. Huh.. People had easy access to lots of loans I guess. Not sure about the details, but I can’t foresee any negative consequences of lots of people being offered easy loa….oh…yeah…nevermind.   and in the last year alone, the United States has added 2.3 million new jobs. (Applause.) When action was needed, the Congress delivered -- and the nation is grateful. Bold move-- telling the audience you’re speaking to that they are great.
 
Now we must add to these achievements. By making our economy more flexible, more innovative, and more competitive, we will keep America the economic leader of the world. (Applause.) U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
To make our economy stronger and more competitive, America must reward, not punish, the efforts and dreams of entrepreneurs. Small business is the path of advancement, especially for women and minorities, so we must free small businesses from needless regulation and protect honest job-creators from junk lawsuits. (Applause.) And coincidentally, that protection will by and large benefit large corporations like drug companies and such which tend to crush smaller businesses, but we’ll just say it’s for the small businesses and minorities and women and junk. Justice is distorted, and our economy is held back by irresponsible class-actions and frivolous asbestos claims -- and I urge Congress to pass legal reforms this year. (Applause.)
Yeah! Boooo Asbestos claims! Screw people with lung disease and cancer and their frivolity!
Because marriage is a sacred institution Really… scientifically, verifiably sacred? Huh.. who knew? and the foundation of society, it should not be re-defined by activist judges. Damn activist judges and your equal rights for everone ethos! Next thing you know, you bastards will end segregation! For the good of families, children, and society, I support a constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage. (Applause.) Thank God!  I was worried people wouldn't be able to get married anymore, but once we have an amendment, things shoud be fine. 
 
Because a society is measured by how it treats the weak and vulnerable, we must strive to build a culture of life. Oh.. I get it.. like say a society had a president that vetoed legislation to help vulnerable lower income families afford health care for their children, that society would be kind of fucked up.  Medical research can help us reach that goal, by developing treatments and cures that save lives and help people overcome disabilities -- and I thank the Congress for doubling the funding of the National Institutes of Health. (Applause.) To build a culture of life, we must also ensure that scientific advances always serve human dignity, not take advantage of some lives for the benefit of others. For example: We shouldn’t send people to die in a far away country to make money for defense contractors. We should all be able to agree -- (applause) -- we should all be able to agree on some clear standards. I will work with Congress to ensure that human embryos are not created for experimentation or grown for body parts, and that human life is never bought and sold as a commodity. (Applause.) That does not happen. Sounds scary though. Almost like you wanted to scare me into supporting your efforts. America will continue to lead the world in medical research that is ambitious, aggressive, and always ethical.
  

Because courts must always deliver impartial justice, judges have a duty to faithfully interpret the law, not legislate from the bench. (Applause.) Again, that statement shows that you’re either an imbecile or fooling yourself. Every decision is a de facto legislation from the bench. And..incidentally, by that logic, separate but equal would still be the law of the land.  As President, I have a constitutional responsibility to nominate men and women who understand the role of courts in our democracy, and are well-qualified to serve on the bench -- and I have done so. (Applause.) The Constitution also gives the Senate a responsibility: Every judicial nominee deserves an up or down vote. (Applause.) Yeah! Deserves! They deserve things. I assume you can back that statement up.

The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else. That is one of the main reasons why we invaded Iraq? differences between us and our enemies.  Oh...  They seek to impose and expand an empire of oppression, in which a tiny group of brutal, self-appointed rulers like your family friends in Saudi Arabia, you mean? control every aspect of every life. Yeah!  Damn imperialists! Down with imperialism! Our aim is to build and preserve a community of free and independent nations, with governments that answer to their citizens, and reflect their own cultures. And because democracies respect (read "spy on") their own people and their neighbors, the advance of freedom (read bombs)will lead to peace. (Applause.)
As Franklin Roosevelt once reminded Americans, "Each age is a dream that is dying, or one that is coming to birth." And we live in the country where the biggest dreams are born. The abolition of slavery was only a dream -- until it was fulfilled. The liberation of Europe from fascism was only a dream -- until it was achieved. The fall of imperial communism was only a dream -- until, one day, it was accomplished. Our generation has dreams of its own, some of them collective 7-year nightmares and we also go forward with confidence. The road of Providence is uneven and unpredictable much like our nation's crumbling infrastructure-- yet we know where it leads: to a watery death at the bottom of that Minnesota riverbed? It leads to freedom. Oh... 
Thank you, and may God bless America. (Applause.) 

The Insurgency on the Myspace

Sun, 01/20/2008 - 01:30 — jmaltry

Some of you may have heard of this online digital "community" thing called Myspace. Well, our space at Myspace just got updated! We added us some pictures, updated some stuff, made it better. Check it out at:

www.myspace.com/tshirtinsurgency

and heck, while you're at it, add us as a friend. We like friends and we'd probably like your friends, too. Assuming they are awesome.

"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." - Omnivore Dilemma Guy

Mon, 01/07/2008 - 20:10 — abeckwith

For January, the T-Shirt Insurgency has officially gone Vegan/Vegetarian.  Justin is the only actual full-time vegetarian (hence the musculature?), but we’re joining him at least for this month, and possibly for all of ’08.   We’re not quite sure why we’re doing it.  I don’t think it was health, animal rights, or environmental concerns, though we’ve heard that those are really good reasons.   

To mark this occasion, we’re lowering the price of our Soybomb t-shirt to $12.99 as well.  We'll also give updates of any amusing vegan related developments.  So far, all that's happened is I've eaten alot of hummus and Oreos.   (Yep, Oreos are vegan... best not to think about it.)

And even though we’re all Vegetarian now, our “Bonus Ham” offer still stands.   Shockingly, we are still the only Insurrectionist T-Shirt site to offer this.  Just order all 11 shirts and receive a free ham, simple as that.  

 

Happy Holidays from the Insurgency! (sorry, Jesus)

Sat, 12/22/2007 - 19:05 — kburk

As part of the Insurgency's contribution to the ongoing "War on Christmas", we would like to wish all of you a very secular "Happy Holidays".  Let us hope that baby Jesus keeps his nose out of all our gift giving and quality time with the family this year.  I mean, it's not like we hate baby Jesus, but he doesn't really insurge enough for our liking.  Also, he's too pro-fish and not pro-breakfast enough from what we've discerned.  No way we can get behind somebody like that.  Jesus is flat un-American in that way. 

That said, many people have been writing in lately to ask us which t-shirt Jesus would buy, and Insurgent Aaron, a religion major, has provided us with an answer:

Jesus would buy Gay on Tuesdays. 

These Pancakes Don't Run

Tue, 12/18/2007 - 18:23 — abeckwith

One of the most common comments we receive while selling our wares (aside from “Just who do you think you are?”  and “You don’t look so good”) is “I don’t get it.”  This usually occurs after someone takes a gander at our These Pancakes Don’t Run t-shirt.   Well, let me explain. 

Anyone lucky enough to spend significant time in rural America has probably had the pleasure of running across a “These Colors Don’t Run” bumper sticker, probably on a dusty pick-up truck.  Way back in aught six, this phenomenon was a topic of conversation at one of our Insurgency meetings. 

While waxing the wax of the waxer one night, we were considering whether "These Colors Don’t Run" was actually a sound and effective foreign policy posture to assume.  Justin claimed that there might be occasions when these colors should at least shuffle off to the side or step back and assess the situation.  He was quickly voted down though as we explained to him that the only possible policy for a country as great as the United States was to never, ever run.  Justin quickly acquiesced after we reminded him how amazing and purely good the U.S. is, and we decided to honor America and its greatness in T-Shirt/Flapjack form.

Plus, it's a stack of pancakes with a musket.   That's just awesome.

Thus our Insurrectionist Breakfast line was launched. 

Our intelligence indicates...

Fri, 12/14/2007 - 19:34 — kburk

The White House X-mas party was held last night and naturally, the Insurgency's intelligence operation had someone on the inside.  We're told that the lamb tasted suspiciously like pork.  We can only assume this was a right-wing Christian ploy to entice the semitic peoples in attendance to break their dietary rules and force them into denigrating their traditions.  We're also told that Wolf Blitzer drank an inappropriate amount of egg nog, his beard growing yellower and yellower around the mouth as the evening went on.  

Sadly, that's all we can share for now.   

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